Car Park Heroes

Some days there’s a lingering hesitance to go for a surf. You just talk yourself out of it because your wetsuit’s wet, or “it’ll be better tomorrow”. Sometimes you “don’t have enough time”. Even though, half the time 

it’s all bullshit.


If you’re anything like me, you leave feeling like you have just turned a blind eye to a puppy’s face. It makes me feel like a failure some days. I can picture people saying “she just checks it and never goes out”.

One thing I’ll never be though, is a carpark hero. This strange creature is particularly found in surf car parks. I don’t know about you, but I always seem to have a park right next to these wild cats. They sit and watch their prey floating out on the water.

Even if they watch you get a 6ft wave, that double barrelled and spat out, they’re ready to pounce. They hiss about how “it was better yesterday”.

Another characteristic about these notorious creatures, is that they are never wrong. It’s amazing. I mean really – for someone that spends very little time in the water, they know so much. They must have a 6th sense or something. Maybe they spent their first 8 lives getting pitted and now believe no one can do better. 

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To get to the bottom of this, I searched for “reasons why cats hate water”.

Basically, it’s down to two things.

  1. Cats are generally less tolerant of change and new experiences
  2. Cats spend a lot of time grooming themselves

Am I painting the picture for you now? I certainly have someone in mind.

We’ve all seen them lounging around the car park in Unite tees and shiny sunnies, commentating the single surfer who is out there alone because A: they couldn’t really do any better and B: it’s always easy to give advice from the car park when they don’t have to lift a finger. No paddling, duck diving, struggling against the current to stay in position or clawing to get on a wave.  All in all, the lonely surfer out there is in their own world, and they don’t give a shit what you have to say.

Clear skies, crystal water.

A set approaching from the horizon.

Gliding along a wall of water holding an unpredictable outcome.

Positive ions flowing through their veins as the water droplets fall from their face.


Meanwhile, the car park hisses with laughter at your paddling style, missed attempt or what you “should have done”.

Who’s the winner here? Where would you rather be? Floating in the clear blue ocean. Catching the odd wave in your own company?

Or in the hot, smelly car park with cigarette smoke in your face? Sitting on a car bonnet and laughing at how people surf, whilst listening to someone hoon around blaring music and spitting on the ground.


So Cats. Take the plunge. Swallow your pride and just get wet.

After all, you might just have a laugh at the heroes in the car park yourself. 



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